Life is like a movie

<strong>Acceptance and given lover</strong>

Had been reading this cute girl blog for sometimes since may,felicia, really the love she had with her malay bf, so sweet and cute….haha….her love story with the malay bf is romantic…really envy…how i wish i could be like her and her malay bf….falling in love so sweet so nice.

Love is sometimes simple yet complicated sometimes, i remembered in may, while we were on the way back from washington to newyork in our pt cruiser car to our hotel, lena,me and guo an,oh i forget yee hoe the driver too……we started a conversation….lovers, there are two kind…one kind is acceptance lover and the other is given lover.

acceptance and given lover? which kind are you? I admit myself is the given one, the one who will always by the person i love,but this type of lover always suffer the most, in terms of emotional or what….acceptance lover is rather easy….u dun have to brother much.

For me, i wun anyhow accept love, cause i scare i might hurt others,im not a player neither a flinger… i choose to be the one in given….provide her the needs when she need me….but sister lena also tell me that acceptance lover is more likely can choose, but the given one will stick to one, when u log on to the one….guoan told me, lets be acceptance lover lah!!! i did tried, but i can/t, i failed….i just wana be the given one….but a very most important thing in love is….the love you gave out, you may not recieve the other part of love back…must be prepare for that.

Sometimes ppl say, you love the person, you might not be with the person….this is what grace shimei told me 2 years ago at woodland starbucks….i knew….being a given lover is very hard and tiring….maybe my life is cheap….i like to see myself suffer in love so i can write beautiful love story…lolx.

But love in one sided is also hard….can the other party feel it? maybe or maybe not….As for me now, i will still be the one as given lover, cause i like to see ppl happy, if someone can be happily in love with another….even is the person i like or i love…she going to be someone lover…and the person can be someone she trusted and take care of her in life…why not? but why not me in the first place? i dunno maybe it is fated.

I remember i told someone i dun like to share things,not that im selfish….i rather give u the things than share…if i wana own the thing…i want it to be mine only…and for love is the same….there is no such things as share love…share lover? how many person can you miss one time as in love? and how many ppl u can love at 1 time? Im naive…last time i used to tell myself…i want my 1st love to be my future wife, i failed….

I  fear love sometimes, i scare the given me will be hurt once again…..winnie once told me, i have a girl’s heart…..machiam always be there for the bf, care this and that.

But the me now, have no chance to say love, how to say love to a person? when u are so far away and apart?? and ppl have so much chasers queue-ing….where is my line? am i in the queue too? I cannot ask much….and dun have anything to shower u with…i only have 1 thing…my true heart….the love i wana give cannot be touch or feel, cause it is too far.

I knew my chances is limit….compare to him or other better matches….im just like watford…under the table…compare to the stars in chelsea,man u,liverpool and arsenal….i can/t ask much….and i have no status to ask this and that from you, or any other chasing you….im just like a shadow angel…will always be there for you..when you need me….or at that moment, im just that sub piece of jigsaw puzzle that you had been missing,i should not have appear in your movie…but i did.

Sometimes indeed feel alone, but i know there are friends here…..love?  u are a word that always makes me feel hurt…when is the time you going to make me happy?