Life is like a movie

Just when i flip throught…dejavu

It had been times since i last blogged, i took a 2 week leave for a rest from work, a rest to see the semi finals and final of world cup? haha perphaps haha…talking my recent betting in soccers, it had been a great down fall for me, lost 2.6k in 2 days, and i again lost another 1.7k within 3 days, im lucky…..really lucky that at the 4th day i fight back my losing from a negative -1.7k to a + positive 1.815 k. …well…im happy.

just when i was packing and tidying up my stuffs in my drawers, i threw out all documents, all letter that i kept with me….at the most right side of the drawer, just when i lift up that blue file…..i saw that small transparent plastic….it was some passport size photos….that familiar yet "long time no see" face appear before me, it was jinyen(1st ex gf)…..her passport size photo….it suddenly bring back some memories of me and her.

I remember these photos, i was the one who accompany her to hougang mall and took it for her admission to NYP studies…..so fast, just a flick of yesterday, 3 years had gone….the smile in that pic makes me suddenly miss her…not love but just a miss….it lead me open that green envelop that she gave me 3 years ago after the break up….the letter of thanks and end of our story…..i still keep that letter, still so neat and tidy….i read again those words she had once wrote…it reflects the now me, just a smile on my own face, i told myself i had grown up.

It was her that make me realise what is love, and she is also the first person that breaks my heart, she created ths history in me, in my love life….till now 3 years had gone, i never really love anyone before other than her…..and what i had is another gf after her, that was amy, that firlt bitch who cheated me, darren and kevin…it had a year…..my hate for her is forever there…that pretty face with a evil intention selfish heart….she came close but never beat the love that jinyen had shown to me 3 years ago.

My heart had not really open for anyone for the past 3 years, i thought amy would open it, but she close it without even open it, with a big "slam" at the door of my heart…..i was shattered and lost when i knew i was actually the 4th party in that rather "weird" relationship…..but now, im totally fine.

It is going to be a year after amy, and i never date anyone after her…..maybe im scare…it just sudden appears in my mind, jinyen…because of the photo..althought we never contact anymore….in my heart…i really wish her the best….i guess she had graduate after this 3 years….may the guy with her really take care of her. After reading that letter, i realise myself had grown up…..im become more sensible….know how to control my emotion better….know really how to accept things,cause things dun always go to your path…

i had really learnt 2 great love lesson from jinyen and amy….althought that bitch had hurt me a year ago, she helps me to gain confident in myself in terms of emotion.

Passport size photo, 3 years later now…i myself also took 12 of them today….not for nyp….haha…but for my admission to kantang land visa….the dream had come true…the path is shining like a torch for me to lap….going to kantang is going to be a totally new experience for me…..i told myself…im going to get ready to go and learn what i can there….2 years of my youth is going to be gone again….another chapter in my cmstory.